Comments on: We’re Getting Married (In a Week!) How Will Our Finances Change?

By: Deberah

Deberah — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 20:00:24 +0000

When I get married am I responable for my husbands debit he had before we got married? I have good credit now and he has bad credit is that going to make my credit score go down?

By: Matt

Matt — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 23:39:48 +0000

My fiancee and I are doing the exact same things. I bought a house in December and she moved in right away. We opened a joint checking account that we use to pay all of the household bills and for things we purchase together. She pays all of her existing bills with her own pay and I pay all of my existing bills with mine. Some people say “Well, you live together so your money is already combined whether you acknowledge it or not” but I don’t agree. I feel that she shouldn’t have to contribute to my student loans or to my car payment, etc. When we get married we will combine things such as auto insurance and we will get a joint credit card, but only after we’re married.

By: dogatemyfinances

dogatemyfinances — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 23:25:32 +0000

I don’t really understand the roommate-style splitting of expenses, unless it’s a blended family. It’s also hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that some money/debt is his or hers.

This is one of my favorite blogging topics because people do things so differently. For us, I can’t imagine anything but joint everything, including debt.

By: Amethyst

Amethyst — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 19:53:36 +0000

I fundamentaly disagree with the sharing everything approach, as one of the challenges in a marriage is to also maintain an individual identity while being part of a couple. I personally cannot imagine not having personal accounts in addition to joint ones ( this is also the advice of my father, who is a very sucessful financial planner, in his words, “sharing everything causes unnecessary arguements and heartache. Having some seperate accounts makes life so much simpler.”
Also the assumption that women want to downscale their careers when they have children is frankly outdated, at least here in California where 2 career couples are very common, as are stay at home dads. I would encourage you and your fiancee to do some variant of the his, hers, ours, financial split, based on your needs rather than on the idea of the 1 breadwinner/1 homemaker dynamic, which no longer applies for many couples.

By: Forest

Forest — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 19:16:47 +0000

I’m getting married in 3.5 weeks. I guess we’ll have to wait to see exactly what changes financially. For now, I think we are planning on combining finances. I’ll probably write about it on my blog as we go along! and congrats!

By: Chris

Chris — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:59:27 +0000

Adrianne has a good point. Every couple has to do what’s right for them, but financial circumstances between spouses often change drastically. My salary increased much quicker than my wife’s after grad school (where we met) and it just felt wrong not to help her pay down her student loans when I was able to. Again, when she was off having our 3 kids, it seemed unfair that I should be able to keep living the high life while she was financially ‘out of commission’.

We have always viewed our household as a sort of ’small business’ where we both bring in revenue (however big or small), both try to keep down costs, invest our capital wisely, and hope for a profit at the end of the year. Like any good team, when one person wins, the other does too.

By: Annie G

Annie G — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 22:34:41 +0000

Well, it works for some people, so good luck. We had combined our money even before the wedding, so it was normal for us to continue with a combined approach.

I do remember, quite a few years ago, getting into a discussion with several other couples about (1) joint finances (2) wearing wedding rings and (3) sharing a last name. We had (1), but not (2) or (3). The other couples all had (2), most had (3), but none had (1). They mostly agreed that our choices showed less commitment to the marriage than theirs.

We are still happily married many years later (23 years this Dec), and all of these other couples have divorced.

By: Adrianne

Adrianne — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 02:13:52 +0000

My husband and I have been happily married for almost 9 years (anniversary is on August 26th). We’ve always held all of our financial accounts jointly. We put all of our money together and view it as family money. We have a budget that we stick to in order to pay off debt and save. Although I can understand the logic of splitting expenses down the middle, I don’t necessarily agree with it. As you continue your journey of marriage, most likely your life circumstances will change. What happens when your wife gets pregnant and has children (assuming you both eventually decide to expand your family)? Most women, given the opportunity, try to stay home with the children or decrease their work time. Will you adjust the 50/50 rules then? Flexibility is a big part of a successful marriage (along with 2 good forgivers). I do agree with you that communication is also a Must in a marriage and I guess as long as finances are discussed openly and honestly, that’s the most important thing.

By: J. Money

J. Money — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 23:31:05 +0000

Congrats my man! Very, very exciting time in your lives