Comments on: How Much Does an (Average) Wedding Cost?

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By: C.B.

C.B. — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 00:22:12 +0000

What about the cost of travel for people who don’t live nearby? I think spending $200-$400 on a plane ticket for just a weekend should be plenty of a present.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 18:51:25 +0000

I agree with you, Amanda. It really bothers me when people talk about their low budget wedding and say it was great because everyone remembered what the day was supposed to be about. Blah blah blah. I’m having a lower budget wedding, but if I could, I’d up it for sure. Anyone who says they wouldn’t is lying. And it has nothing to do with how much you love your fiance or how strong of a couple you think you are.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 17:29:31 +0000

At the end of the day, I say do what makes you happy. If you can afford an opulent wedding and that’s what you both want, go for it. Whose right is it for anyone to judge? If you don’t want or can’t afford a big wedding, then as everyone has posted, there are ways to cut budgets and corners and still have a wedding your both happy with. It’s sad what people think of weddings now-a-days. A wedding, big or not, does not determine the strenghth and happiness of your marriage. It’s up to the couple who decide to take on that commitment and love each other for the rest of their lives. I’m sorry. Unfortunately, yes, the divorce rate is up. But maybe people should take marriage more seriously at the end of the day. It’s sad what it’s come down to. I’ll personally be in the 50% that doesn’t divorce cause I’ll be sticking through the hard times like you’re suppose to do in a marriage. That’s where people go wrong – they give up. Marriage isn’t a walk in a part and weddings, big or small, don’t determine a thing. As long as that special day is meaningful to you and your fiance’ and your ready for the long road ahead, then that’s what matters.

By: Morningsdaughter

Morningsdaughter — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:07:12 +0000

When my sister got married, she managed to keep everything under $500.
She had more than 100 guests, due to the combining of two large families.
Our uncle preached the ceremony at his own church. His wife decorated the halls with the silk flowers and candles that the church already had. One of the cousins had professional training and made the cake as a gift. Grandma bought the dress for less than $50. Grandmom(the other side) did all the flower arrangements. One of their college buddies majored in Art with his camera and photographed the wedding, they just paid for the prints. My bridesmaid dress was $9(actually, that was just the one I used they bought two at the same price since I lived in a different state and weren’t sure which one would fit best. So if you have say, then $18). Catering was all done by Grandma and Great aunt Verna. Several cousins all pitched in to serve at the reception. One of the boys who attended that church worked the sound system at the cost of feeding him dinner. There wasn’t any alcohol, so lots of savings there.

I don’t know how much my brother ran his wedding for. But he and his wife went barefoot, so they really saved in the shoe department! The bride’s sister and mother cooked and frosted dozens of cupcakes and then my sister bought a box of drink umbrellas for a few bucks and a bulk bag of little monkey figurines(the kind you would get out of a vending machine) to deck the cupcakes with. Both sides considered it as part of their gift to the bride and groom. My aunt bought a bunch of dollar store hula party decorations and created a classy and fun wedding hall. He husband even moved his large fish tank over to the hall! This ceremony was also presided over by an uncle in his own church. It was pretty cool how everything got together. Even their honeymoon was cheep, a family relation lent them their cabin for the weekend.
But the best part of my brothers wedding was the continued focus on the real reason for it all. Getting my brother and his wife married in the presence of their of their loved ones. It wasn’t just about the bride and groom, or just about the guest. It was about the joining of two families. The only complaint was no one was quite sure how casual was enough…my brother kept says ‘just wear what ever you want that’s blue!’
God bless to all those getting married soon and to all those already married!

By: Dawn

Dawn — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 21:16:43 +0000

ET, if you know 500 people who live as close as you say then you’re set. Ask them to gift you a wedding instead of presents. Surely someone in your family knows how to decorate a cake. Some one else can gift you the photography.
Have a potluck style reception. If each person brings a dish, you’re guaranteed to have a feast.
Hit the garage sales for silk flowers. I walked away from a sale with a bolt of tole that I paid a dollar for. A couple months later it was used in my stepsister’s wedding. We made a couple dozen pewbows (some of which ended up being worn by some younger relatives), a beautiful backdrop, and livened up the plain metal arch the church provided (especially when we lit the fabric up with some Christmas lights that we pulled out of seasonal storage).

A large family should be seen as a blessing, not a burden. This especially goes for when your getting married. It’s not unfortunate that all your relatives live so close, it’s a real good thing!
(PS. You can do it! Don’t give up!)

By: Anon

Anon — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 21:16:10 +0000

I think whether or not it’s proper etiquette to ask for cash gifts at a wedding completely relies on your guests. Just take the temperature; if you have more modern or laid back friends and family who are attending, it would probably go over just fine. More traditional family? It may be better to go the gift registry route. Hopefully you’re fortunate enough to have an understanding group of family and friends either way.

Also–Adding your “Honeyfund” or “Donate to a charity” link on your wedding website will show guests exactly where their cash gifts are going, if that’s what you’re aiming for. My sister had a HoneyFund set up, and to add to the fun of it you could buy the couple specific goodies–like a couple’s massage, champagne, dinner, etc.–all for them to enjoy on their honeymoon.

If charitable or honeymoon donations are your only “registries” available for guests to peruse, they may get the hint you’re looking for monetary gifts. Those who are less internet savvy may be clued in to just drop a card for you at the wedding. Otherwise, from your more creative friends and relatives you could end up with some amazing and unique personal gifts.

By: Anon

Anon — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:57:35 +0000

I’m getting married in a high end resort mountain town in southern California and for 75 guests, we’re coming in well under 15K! It doesn’t have to be over 20K if you’re “non country people;” it just depends what you’re willing to omit or do yourself~ =)

By: Ashley

Ashley — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 01:59:34 +0000

Most of you guys aren’t understanding the point. Asking for ANYTHING from your guests is tacky. They are your guests and you invited them to celebrate your special day. You don’t throw a reception to collect cash, checks, and gifts. If the reception is too expensive and you’re planning on using some of the money you get as a gift to cover the costs, then you shouldn’t be having a wedding in the first place.There is absolutely no reason to make it known that you’d prefer money and I feel embarrassed for anyone that does that. I just got married in the spring and I would just die of shame if I actually thought it was a good idea to include a little note in the invitations that said, “FYI, we’d appreciate cash over any stupid boxed gifts you planned on giving us. Thanks in advance.”

And Ali… since when is a wedding considered a “free party?” Last time I checked, going to a reception and handing over a card full of money is not considered “free.” I just went to a wedding last weekend with my husband and we gave $250 in the card. In the 4 years we’ve been together, I’m pretty sure we’ve never ever spent $250 on drinks and dinner for 1 night (except for our own wedding reception, of course.) How is that free?

By: Ali

Ali — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 17:28:08 +0000

Honestly asking for money instead of a gift really isn’t a big deal like most people already said it’s more in they way you ask. My uncle got married he was older already owned a house and everything in it. They said that they would PREFER money so they can have an extra fun time on their honeymoon. They had a “card box” but of course if you say I “prefer” money does not mean that you can’t give a gift instead. I think it would be best to give your guest both options in case your guests do not feel comfortable giving out money. It defiantly depends on knowing your audience. It’s not like you’re asking for a specific price. That would be weird. I would rather buy a nice card and give money because at least I know they will love and use my gift.
If your family loves you and that’s what you really want I don’t see why they would have a problem with it. They are going to a free party anyway.
The only reason I would think it was inappropriate, is if you made all of your guest fly out to see you get married in Hawaii or some far destination. Because all your guests already had to pay a lot to be there at your wedding. I probably wouldn’t even ask for a gift at all. I really just don’t know how people do that to their guests anyway.