Comments on: Is it Okay to Get Married With Debt? http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt Personal Finance for the Young and Ambitious Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:23:03 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Need advice http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt/comment-page-1#comment-707 Need advice Fri, 19 Dec 2008 17:27:13 +0000 http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt#comment-707 My fiance and I are both is debt. I must say I am more in debt since being with her. She has a tendacy to spend more money than she makes and I tried talking to her. She is just in a rush to get married and start a family. I'm uncomfortable with getting married in debt and she just had her car repossessed and now she expects me to let her drive me to work and pick me up so that she has a car to drive to and from work. I'm wondering if I should walk away from the relationship now before it's too late. My fiance and I are both is debt. I must say I am more in debt since being with her. She has a tendacy to spend more money than she makes and I tried talking to her. She is just in a rush to get married and start a family. I’m uncomfortable with getting married in debt and she just had her car repossessed and now she expects me to let her drive me to work and pick me up so that she has a car to drive to and from work. I’m wondering if I should walk away from the relationship now before it’s too late.

]]> By: Moneymonk http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt/comment-page-1#comment-704 Moneymonk Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:51:55 +0000 http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt#comment-704 "try to pay it off before getting married" I would say start after the honeymoon You never know if one has a change of heart “try to pay it off before getting married”

I would say start after the honeymoon

You never know if one has a change of heart

]]> By: Jane http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt/comment-page-1#comment-708 Jane Mon, 05 May 2008 14:45:54 +0000 http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt#comment-708 My fiance and I are marrying in June, and he still has some small debts from opening his own business two years ago. I'm not sure how delaying marriage would have helped us to improve our situation, as the author suggests. We're living together already, and we have the generous support of our families to finance the wedding. Why wait? We've been very open and honest with each other about our priorities, and although it's stressful, we're tackling the issue together. I have had friends marry into massive amounts of debt, for which they became responsible after their divorces. However, these situations were untenable for a number of other reasons. Mutual respect and a heck of a lot of open communication can overcome a less-than-stellar financial past. My fiance and I are marrying in June, and he still has some small debts from opening his own business two years ago. I’m not sure how delaying marriage would have helped us to improve our situation, as the author suggests. We’re living together already, and we have the generous support of our families to finance the wedding. Why wait? We’ve been very open and honest with each other about our priorities, and although it’s stressful, we’re tackling the issue together.

I have had friends marry into massive amounts of debt, for which they became responsible after their divorces. However, these situations were untenable for a number of other reasons. Mutual respect and a heck of a lot of open communication can overcome a less-than-stellar financial past.

]]> By: Shaeluv http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt/comment-page-1#comment-706 Shaeluv Wed, 19 Mar 2008 08:17:27 +0000 http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt#comment-706 I am getting married next month, and have had several conversations with my fiancee regarding finances, but have not been able to come to a solution to his negative debt and bad credit history. I think there are many valid points and suggestions given here, anything else I should know? will his credit score affect mine? what if I keep my own last name? I am getting married next month, and have had several conversations with my fiancee regarding finances, but have not been able to come to a solution to his negative debt and bad credit history. I think there are many valid points and suggestions given here, anything else I should know? will his credit score affect mine? what if I keep my own last name?

]]> By: zen http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt/comment-page-1#comment-705 zen Wed, 12 Mar 2008 19:24:09 +0000 http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt#comment-705 I married in debt - and was open and honest about it. If I was to wait until my student loans were paid off, it would have been years before I got married - and my wife was kept fully aware of it before hand. We said 'no' to a prenuptial agreement, as we felt we'd discussed all our issues fully (we communicate, heavily, about everything). That being said, her Uncle/Aunt who recently married fell into the camp of marrying into debt, getting divorced and losing a lot of their money because of it. Because they've been together for so many years post-divorce (and seeing us openly discuss our finances and other issues) helped convince them to remarry. The key is always honesty and communication, and willing to realize that you may have to have two separate bank accounts if you can't control your bills/spending issues, but that's almost a separate issue altogether... I married in debt – and was open and honest about it. If I was to wait until my student loans were paid off, it would have been years before I got married – and my wife was kept fully aware of it before hand. We said ‘no’ to a prenuptial agreement, as we felt we’d discussed all our issues fully (we communicate, heavily, about everything).

That being said, her Uncle/Aunt who recently married fell into the camp of marrying into debt, getting divorced and losing a lot of their money because of it. Because they’ve been together for so many years post-divorce (and seeing us openly discuss our finances and other issues) helped convince them to remarry.

The key is always honesty and communication, and willing to realize that you may have to have two separate bank accounts if you can’t control your bills/spending issues, but that’s almost a separate issue altogether…

]]> By: finance girl http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt/comment-page-1#comment-703 finance girl Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:19:52 +0000 http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt#comment-703 oops i meant he was $70k in debt, not $70. oops i meant he was $70k in debt, not $70.

]]> By: finance girl http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt/comment-page-1#comment-709 finance girl Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:18:13 +0000 http://www.moneyunder30.com/is-it-ok-to-get-married-with-debt#comment-709 my husband was $70 in debt when we got married. He had no financial literacy when we met. He was very willing, and relieved, to take guidance on how to get out of debt and learn about money. It was tough for the first couple years, because i supported us while he paid it all off. However, once he paid it all off, we then had all that money (his income) unallocated, which was awesome. I definitely agree with you that there has to be total transparency and a 'come to jesus' conversion financially for the other person. We are in great shape now, but 9 years ago it looked like a long slog. my husband was $70 in debt when we got married. He had no financial literacy when we met. He was very willing, and relieved, to take guidance on how to get out of debt and learn about money. It was tough for the first couple years, because i supported us while he paid it all off. However, once he paid it all off, we then had all that money (his income) unallocated, which was awesome.

I definitely agree with you that there has to be total transparency and a ‘come to jesus’ conversion financially for the other person.

We are in great shape now, but 9 years ago it looked like a long slog.

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