Recent College Graduate Gets Everything for Free

A Florida college graduate is claiming he will never have to pay for anything again. Not his groceries, not his car, not his rent, not even his secret daily Big-Mac habit. (His girlfriend, a personal trainer, disapproves).

Carl Bishop, 23, told local media outlets Tuesday “it’s like winning the lottery, only better, because I don’t even have to handle the money. I just get what I want, and that’s it.”

How’d he get so lucky?

After graduating from Florida State University last spring, Carl spent the summer, and fall, and winter, watching Friends reruns and picking his toes from the comfort of his parents’ couch in St. Petersburg.

That fun came to an end last month, however, when Carl’s parents insisted he find a job. “I did look at a couple of jobs, but the idea of getting up before noon wasn’t really for me,” Carl says.

Instead of a job, Carl got a credit card.

“I came across this website for a credit card, and it sent this card in the mail with $5,000 on it in just a couple of days! Those job things wanted me to work like 10 weeks to get that much cash. It was awesome.”

Once he discovered applying for credit cards was such an easy way to get free money, Carl applied for ten of them.

“I got $28,000 in total!” he says.

What’s Carl plan to do with his newfound fortune?

“I upgraded my wardrobe, and I’ve been hitting some pretty nice clubs on the weekends, but mostly I’m just happy I don’t have to break my routine.”

Given Carl’s financial prowess, what advice can he offer to other twenty somethinigs?

“Forget working, just get some credit cards. The best part is there are so many more out there, I can get go grab more whenever I need to. If you’re smart, you’ll go find this loophole out there that all these big banks just want to pay for all your crap!”

Happy April Fools Day!