Comments on: Should You Take Financial Help from Your Parents?

By: hesse

hesse — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 07:58:22 +0000

I agree 100% with the post above. My folks have tried to pay for as many of my expenses as they could and I have accepted very little of their “aid.” They also buy me a lot of gifts and try to pay for things ordinarily have to pay for in my every day life. For example, when I complained about paying $250 to my car mechanic, they offered to pay for it. It is my (unproven, but highly suspected) belief that they are using these gifts as leverage in an attempt to control me and deny me my financial independence. I am not poor. I can afford to pay a $250 to the car mechanic and could even afford much more.

By: Earl Balentine

Earl Balentine — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 19:28:23 +0000

We were divorced when my 3 children were 10/12/14. My children struggled to finish high school. I regret I didn’t have the money to send our kids to college. My ex-wife and I both were struggling to make ends meet.
Today one of my sons is very successful and one is getting by and the other goes thru 2 or 3 jobs every year. My 2nd wife has an adult son and he to is living off of food stamps and unemployee checks. Today my wife and I are doing fine finacially and plan on retiring in the next year. The problem is we seem to be dishing out money to our kids to pay their rent and bills on a regualr bases with no end in sight. I don’t mine helping, but as soon as they get a job and I pay their rent, they quit their job again. They are always one month away from sleeping in their car.

By: Jami

Jami — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 02:12:52 +0000

This is in response to T. Porter’s comment – parents are supposed to help their children financially – not the other way around – I am working so hard so that my son will not have to experience the hardships I have had to and continue to endure – I am in college to for nursing now – I know I will still be in poverty for a few more years until I am out of school and have worked a decent job long enough to get caught up financially but I plan on saving as much as I can for him to go to college someday so that he can be independent and hopefully he and his children will get to have much better quality lives.

By: Jami

Jami — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 02:08:35 +0000

My parents have never helped me – not with college, not with anything that I can think of especially when it comes to money – I think people assume that because they have money they have helped me – oh they could afford it – even when I was a kid, they would buy me like 2 shirts and 2 pairs of jeans for school every year, I had to constantly borrow clothes from friends, I had to start working at age 15 and I literally saved all the money I made so that I could help pay for college – when in college I had 2 scholarships, a pell grant for $2000 total (was based on my parents income) and I worked three jobs with crappy cheapo cars I bought just to make it through – does it make me feel like they love money more than their own child? Is it depressing? Absolutely.

By: T. Porter

T. Porter — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:19:26 +0000

to clerify what I wrote previously: I meant my parents struggle financially b/c my mother refuses to work and yet spend quite a bit of money leisurely. And I didn’t mention that they borrow money and use my sisters’ and my name for credit towards their own needs like cable, elcetricity, rent etc.

By: T. Porter

T. Porter — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:13:00 +0000

How do you all feel about having parents who refuse to help you financially just because they are struggling themselves. They have been trying to push my sisters and I on own own since we can remember, because they fail to take care of their own finances; not because of hardship but simply because my mother just will not work at all. I am 21 and want to go to school so genuinely, I pay cash out of pocket for community college b/c they don’t do their taxes, which makes me unable to turn in a FAFSA. That is the key is getting any type of schooling funding: whether it be grants, scholarships, or loans. And I have no credit worthy co- signer in my life to boot. What options might I have; any ideas anyone?

By: Veronica

Veronica — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 01:26:24 +0000

As one of those 20-somethings who moved out to go to graduate school right after college, I’ve been able to compare those who have stayed at home and those who haven’t. My friends who stay at home, living rent-free or close to rent-free have been able to sock money away to pay the loans they do carry or for future expenses. Those of us who moved out, had to fully fund grad school through loans and are now facing debt burdens of almost 100k will never get out of the hole we dug for ourselves. Honestly my fancy private undergrad school ended up costing me less than my city college public school…and I’ll be headed into a low paying public sector job. So moving into my old basement bedroom is on the agenda…

By: Money Under 30

Money Under 30 — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 02:30:42 +0000

I think you really hit on something GG – so many parents want nothing more than to help their adult kids and would see declining that help as ungrateful and hurtful.

I think that, as adult kids, how we accept help from our parents (whether with grace or with entitlement) defines whether that financial support will help us in the long run — or hurt us.

By: GG @ This Writer's Wallet

GG @ This Writer's Wallet — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 23:44:53 +0000

I have learned, not just with finances, that there are very few (there are those few, though!) things I can be dogmatic about. Reading your post, I totally agreed with you. Kids should learn independence and they should learn the value of a dollar.

Thing is, I’m 25 and live at home. And while I do contribute (work for the family company on the side for free), I’m pretty sure I’m getting the good end of the deal here.

My parents and I have talked about this (by my bringing it up), and they are almost hurt that I wouldn’t want them to help me. When I reimburse my dad for the cell phone bills, he acts a little confused.

For them, they worked so they could give. Not just to their kids but to a lot of people. I’m learning that they show they love me that way, and I show I love them by being grateful for the compromised giving that goes on.