It’s that time of year again when third-grade arithmetic can lead to panic attacks and thoughts of sacrificing ourselves to a pack of ravenous ostriches.
That’s right, it’s tax time, and to help you keep your sanity, MoneyUnder30.com has devised the best ways to stick it to the Internal Revenue Service this year.
Don’t just screw ‘em, screw ‘em hard.
10. When filling out your 1040, have the IRS refer to schedules 1-146C to find your information.
9. Send the IRS a bill for the processing expenses you saved them by filing electronically.
8. Fill your tax return envelope with body glitter and perfume. (The auditor’s wife will love it!)
7. List your redneck brother as two-thirds of a qualified dependent, because, let’s face it; he depends on you when he’s drunk, about two-thirds of the time!
6. Write “numbers are against my religion”. (You could actually start a church believing this and you would be tax-exempt anyway).
5. Find a reason to deduct every single penny you spent last year. (Then get your passport ready).
4. Bury your tax payment in the woods and draw a treasure map.
3. List all figures in Chinese Yuan. One Chinese Yuan = 0.129038918 U.S. Dollars. That’ll keep ‘em counting.
2. Indicate you want your refund wired to your account in Grand Cayman.
1. Subtract 10% of the taxes you owe for the government spending you did not previously authorize!
About David E. Weliver
Ok so which one of these ideas do you actually think works hehe. Personally I’m all out of glitter. lol.
Juan from millionster.com
Dude, that’s hilarious.
Having worked on a big IRS contract (with the people who develop the forms, instructions, pubs, etc.), I’ve found they don’t really have much of a sense of humor. Their Criminal Investigation Unit (CIU) definitely doesn’t.
That’s also the reason I don’t blog about taxes on my site.
Keep up the good work!
yeah, it’s jim in jail, i only get 10 minutes internet time a day because of u. damn i got sent to jail for numbers 7-9.