How Much Does an (Average) Wedding Cost?
The average American wedding costs almost $29,000, according to The Wedding Report, a market research publication. $29,000! That money could buy a nice new car or be a 20% down payment on a $145,000 home. It’s also more than many Americans earn in a year. How do wedding costs get so out-of-hand? And what can you do to keep costs down when it’s your turn to tie the knot? I’m getting hitched in less than three months, so I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit. Here’s what I’ve found.
It’s ironic that most people I know (my fiancee and I included) always say things like “we don’t want a big wedding” and “it doesn’t have to cost much”. Still, as soon as you begin planning the big day, the costs add up. Some people call this hypocrisy, but the fact is, in many cases, many aspects of planning a wedding (and its costs) are out of the bride- and groom-to-bes’ hands. There’s the old saying that the wedding is not about you. It’s about everybody else. Therefore, even if you don’t want to spend money on a fancy reception site/music/food/alcohol/etc., somebody involved may influence these decisions anyway.
Even if you maintain tight control over wedding decisions and costs, they add up. Unless you get married at city hall, you’ll probably want to add rings, clothes, and an officiant. Add a photographer, food for even a small number of guests, and a party, and your costs will be well over $1,000. And for every guest on the list, the costs add up.
My fiancee and I are fortunate enough to have families that are footing the largest of our wedding costs. That’s good, because the majority of our 160—yes 160—guests are extended family members. (If we had to foot the bill alone, chances are the wedding would be for 40 close family and friends). Still, our costs are not insignificant. We’re paying for our rings, clothes, invitations, our band, and our photographer. (The latter two we considered optional, but were important to us). Undoubtedtly, there will be more costs down the road.
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In our research and planning, it’s easy to see why $29,000 is the average wedding cost. Consider, for example, the below example of wedding costs. (This isn’t a model of our wedding, and it falls short of the average $29,000 wedding cost, but you’ll see how it adds up).
- Church/Officiant Fee: $500
- Reception Site Rental: $2,500
- Food: $40/plate x 100 = $4,000
- Photographer: $2,000
- DJ or Band: $1,500
- Flowers: $750
- Cake: $500
- Rings: $5,000
- Dress/Tux: $500
- Open Bar: $3,500
- Total: $20,750
Obviously, this example isn’t for a cheap wedding, but for 100 people, it’s probably a modest one. Any of the above costs can vary greatly based upon your choices, and could easily skyrocket. Some brides spend thousands on their dress alone. (On an aside, that’s one expense, of any, I don’t understand, for something you’ll wear once). I’d rather splurge on a ring that at least you’ll wear for a lifetime.
And you can always save by trimming the guest list. Since we can’t do that, here are a few ways we are saving on our wedding:
- My fiancee got her dress at a major chain; it cost less than $300
- I’m buying my wedding ring from a reputable online jeweler for half of what it costs at a retail jeweler
- We have a relative making our wedding cake
- I’m buying a suit that I can wear again rather than renting a tux; my groomsmen will most likely be able to wear outfits they already own
- We’re holding our wedding reception in the early afternoon and following it up with a BYOB after-party, which should dramatically reduce alcohol costs
I’m working on some more specific wedding-related posts. Did you get married recently or are you planning a wedding? Are you pulling off a super-frugal wedding or did costs quickly get out of hand? Please share your story!
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You said your using a reputable online jeweler? May I ask the name?
I’m getting married in September and I’m right in the thick of wedding planning. I consider myself pretty frugal but I’m still budgeting $25,000 for this wedding. Sometimes I can’t believe that. However, we have 250 estimated guests. My mom has a huge family and there’s nothing I can do about it. Check out my blog for some more posts regarding our wedding planning.
I got married a couple years ago and did pretty well–we spent somewhere around $13k for a wedding for 125. We were SUPER frugal on stuff though–we didn’t spend a lot extra on decorations and we did cut a few things I regret (a professional photographer; definitely not a place to cut).
My focus was on giving the event some personality rather than on perfection. We chose to have a “light” destination wedding at a historic hotel in a less expensive part of the state, where we could afford a nicer venue with more personality than what we could get closer to home. Instead of focusing on tons of accoutrements to jazz the place up, we picked something that had plenty of charm and uniqueness out of the gate and this proved to be a pretty cost-effective solution. Better yet, they offered a package that included a planner who arranged for the food and cake, and we found an excellent DJ (one who didn’t play “chicken dance” or “YMCA” but rather tailored the evening very specifically for two people who are big music geeks). We also chose to have everything in one place–cocktail hour first, then the ceremony, then the reception. This was not only cost effective but the guests loved it–they all had a drink or two in them by the time of the reception and it felt very casual and informal. Due to some specifics of our situation we also chose not to have a wedding party or have anything to do with the church beyond an officiant, and all of these things helped cut some money off as well.
My friend is planning a brilliantly cheap wedding. She is getting married for the cost of staff’s time at our workplace (we work at a museum). Her photographer and musicians are students in those fields that she found on craigslist. She is paying a friend to make a small cake for her and her fiance and getting plain white sheet cake for everyone else. She has a small guestlist. She registered as having a Quaker wedding so no officiant is needed, although a friend will be unofficially ‘officiating’. No flowers or other fluff. She got her dress from J.Crew on-line which was very affordable. They sent e-vites to their friends and paper invitations only to older family members. All-in-all they are likely spending more on the honeymoon than the ceremony!
Great wedding stories so far, everybody! Thanks!
@Peter: The jeweler I’m looking at is Blue Nile. They have been featured in major media outlets and I’ve read pretty consistently good reviews. I didn’t buy my fiancee’s engagement ring there because I couldn’t see the diamonds, although sometimes I wish I had because I would’ve saved a bundle, but I’m comfortable getting my wedding band there because they’re so uniform I don’t need to see it in person before I buy it.
I got the engagement ring from Blue Nile. I was extremely happy with my experience, especially the part of not having to deal with salesmen. I’ll probably get her wedding band from there too.
If you cannot afford an open bar, you cannot afford a wedding. Seriously.
I got married in Long Island, NY and it cost around 35k. That is low/average for NY, so I always find it fascinating to read about wedding costs in other areas. My reception cost about 18k and the photographer was 6k. We had about 110 guests.
I got married two years ago, in an expensive part of the country, with all the usual aspects associated with a wedding. I was pretty good about keeping to my slightly lower than average budget, but I was realistic about what weddings cost.
My advice is to focus on a few things that you really want to highlight and thus, spend money on. Then cut back on everything else. For us, it was the food, the location, and the photographer, and we spent the bulk of the budget on those. Everything else got the minimal treatment. And really, no one noticed that my flowers cost $200, but to this day everyone mentions that the food was good.
“If you cannot afford an open bar, you cannot afford a wedding. Seriously!!” You CAN”T be serious!! Since when does a beautiful and poignant start to a married life be required to include booze–let alone free booze? I’m a wedding officiant as well as the mother of a soon-to-be bride, and the pressure on young couples to throw these big ostentatious parties is absurd. It’s not about the food, the flavor of the cake or how much free alcohol your guests can consume. Celebrate your love, be true to who you are as a couple and invite whomever you please to celebrate your love in whatever way you see fit.
Certainly there are quite a number of ways to save on your wedding and you have touched on a number of the biggies…basically your reception is going to be the biggest cost. Shifting the time of year, day of week, time of day of your wedding will have a big effect on your costs.
My husband and I had a large wedding, mainly because we both have very large families. About 300 came to our wedding. We were, however, able to keep within our budget of $8000. Catering was the most expensive part with the total coming to $3500. We did a buffet and used plastic silverware. We rented out the local community center and bought our liquor at a duty free shop. We found a local woman to make the cake for $350, with many sheet cakes in the back to make sure there was enough for everyone. My sister was in charge of all the decorations which we bought over several months using 50% off coupons at Micheal’s which came each week. A friend of mine’s uncle owns a limo business so we were able to get a great deal on that. One of my husband’s uncles did the photography for free as a gift to us (he owns his own photography business). I hired a classmate from high school to be the DJ and emcee which he discounted for us. Really we got most of our good deals because we knew someone or we were related to someone who could do part of it. I also bought my dress of the rack instead ordering for a 20% discount.
My bride-to-be and I are getting married next May. We are in NC and found a local B&B where we will have the ceremony, reception, a couple of nights lodging, dj, food, and a few more things for a package deal of $15k. We have to find a photographer and are astonished at how much they cost. One even costs, if averaged out, $700/hour! I can’t think of any profession that should be paid that much!
I recently got married in March and my wedding with honeymoon total was $8000 total!!
)
We saved money by having a beach wedding. Since it was at the beach your attire doesn’t need to be so formal. I wore a dress
from Nordstrom that everyone raved about it cost $175 and my husband wore a white linen suit. The officant was only $70. Your local justice of the peace will do it for you wherever you want. You have the best natural scenery at the beach. Photographer was free (lucked out new uncle is one).
We had a lunch reception since the ceremony was early in the morning and booked a private dining room at our fave restaurant, the same
one where he proposed. Lunch is cheaper and everyone loved the food. Instead of a tierd cake we had a top tier with jumbo
cupcakes that were decorated beautifully. It’s a new trend that is a lot cheaper and you don’t have to deal with a cake cutting fee.
Yes, be careful because some venues will charge you $1-$3 a slice to cut your cake!! We also saved a lot of money by using a
honeymoon registry. We used honeymoonwishes.com. Since dishes and sheets were the last thing we needed it just made sense. Our guest actually
ended up paying for our honeymoon and then some. It’s only one day, save your money so you can enjoy your marriage. Honestly everyone loved
our wedding because they love us and it was a perfect day. If there is anyone on your guest list you think you need to impress,
don’t invite them! Best wishes to you and your fiance
Natasha… Thank you so much for your second to last line, “If there is anyone on your guest list you think you need to impress,
don’t invite them!” If I needed to read anything on this post it was that… Thank you so much for reminding me this day is truly about the two of us, our true friends, and our loving family… Congratulations to you and may God bless your marriage!
My husband and I eloped last August to Lake Tahoe. It was amazing and it was all about us, no mothers or in-laws to take over and put their two cents in. We figured that we spent about $1700 for everything: officiant (550) dress (30), husband clothes (150), flowers (120), rings (30 on etsy), cabin at Lake Tahoe for 4 nights (300), gas to travel from Utah (150), food for several days (200), announcements, which we sent our from Lake Tahoe (100). Our wedding was perfect in every way and I am so glad we did it the way we did. Our families were sad they hadn’t been involved (no one knew), but they understood that they didn’t have to pay for a wedding so we got some really awesome monetary gifts from our parents that are currently earning interest in an ING account.
We are in the middle of planning our March 2010 wedding now. My original “dream” budget was $10k; until we started looking at venues (we live in San Francisco), cake prices and photographers and the price tags they come with, our budget quickly doubled! We are spending money on the things that really matter to us: a beautiful venue that has indoor and outdoor space, loads of character, with an in-house caterer, and an artistic photographer. We are “saving” on things that are less important to us: our favorite music on an I-pod instead of a band, the venue is quaint and has tons of character so our flower budget is tiny, I bought my dress at a big chain for less than $300 (I’m “borrowing” a veil because they cost almost as much as my dress!), and he will buy a suit he can wear again. We recently decided to cut our guest list from 100 to 80 in order to “save” even more.
And, we are getting married on a Sunday–cheaper than Saturday, in March–cheaper than June.
We are getting married on a Sunday in Asheville, NC, which is a great way to save money on venue fees. We are having the ceremony at a beautiful site in a national forest (no charge) – we only have to pay for chair rentals and set up/breakdown. The reception is at a restaurant in town and since it is on a Sunday, they aren’t charging a venue fee (~110 guests). Food is $27/person, we are buying cases of beer/wine/liquor ahead of time which saves some $ b/c it isn’t full mark-up and we know what we want to serve (total food/drink cost is just under $4k), we’re getting flowers from a local grower ($200), a friend is making our cake for just the cost of the supplies (~$100), a friend of a friend is an interior designer and she is going to help us decorate the restaurant (we buy decorations ~$200), favors are two hand made chocolates from a friend who makes THE BEST chocolates in town, we are choosing our own song list and a friend who DJ’s is manning our iPod in lieu of actually having a DJ, we’re creating a slideshow from photos of us and our family/friends with music and captions, having a trivia contest so guests can guess where we’re moving next and who ever wins will get a prize (we’re planning to move soon), I’m borrowing a friend’s beautiful wedding dress that only needs a few alterations (which can be let out after the wedding), my fiance’ is buying his suit from Men’s Warehouse during their summer sale for about $199, and we’re looking for rings right now, which we will likely get online. I’ve heard there are a few pawn shops that actaully specialize in estate/vintage jewelry so we may check that out also.
We are getting married in exactly two weeks in Miami Florida. We have 115 confirmed guests. Everything is going to come out to 20k, give or take a thousand. This includes our attire, the rings, the venue, the food, open bar, the cake, the gifts for our attendants/folks, favors, flowers etc. It doesn’t include the honeymoon, which is a 7 day cruise that we got for super cheap. We are very lucky that we were able to use our church for the actual wedding ceremony for free, because we are members. We only had to pay a small cleanup fee ($150) for the Fellowship Hall that we are using the day before for our rehearsal dinner. We also got a professional dj for free, because he’s my fiance’s cousin. My florist is an employee who is doing the flowers as a gift- we just have to pay for the materials and flowers. At the last minute another couple canceled with our photographer and he applied their deposit to our account when we booked, saving us over $500. A church member who has beautiful flowing handwriting did our invitations for us for free, which kept us from having to hire a calligrapher. We used theknot.com for great ideas and even more money savers. The biggest place we spent money was at the reception hall. Though I wish it could have been even cheaper, I’m happy that it will be an amazingly beautiful event that culminates my union with my future husband.
My fiance’ and I are getting married in March 2010, we have budgeted about $1000- $1500.00 for our wedding, my mom got my dress, it was a bridesmaid dress that we ordered in white, my flowers are only going to cost about $250.00 and that includes all flowers! We are only having 1 bridesmaid and 1 bestman, no other wedding parties, and the best part is, the location is free, and its by a beautiful river. Its a locally owned pavillion that can be rented, and as long as you turn the key back in its free! We are using my mothers ring’s from her first marriage, they’ll just have to be sized which cost about $50.00 each to size, and the cake were getting from Ingles, they make beautiful, delicious wedding cakes that feed over 100 people for about $100.00. So you can have a wedding on a budget, you dont have to spend $20,000.00 or $30,000.00 to have a beautiful wedding. my fiance’s sister got married in june, his parents paid for it, and it costed around $20,000.00 and it wasnt that pretty at all. The location was pretty a nice mountian setting, but the decor wasnt at all what i pictured a $20,000.00 wedding looking like. So just keep that in mind girls! Also, you can talk to a beach front hotel to see how much they will charge you to have a wedding, most places like that dont charge much, sometimes even free, and you can have the reception right there. Kinda neat, were thinking about doing it. Also, the lady who said alcohol was a major factor in weddings, its rediculas, your friends shouldnt just come to your wedding just to drink your alcohol, they should come to celebrate with you. My bestfriend had a wedding for under $300.00 and that included food, flowers, location, and minister! NO BOOZE!!! You dont have to pay a fortune to have alcohol, just buy some store bought bottles of wine, and have your caterer pass it out. You can get store bought good wine for about $8.00 a bottle. Anyway, good luck everyone!!! Best wishes and God Bless!
My fiance and I are getting married in October 2010. We are inviting 120 guests, but imagine that about 80 will come. I was hoping to keep our budget around $15,000 but it’s slowly crept up to $22,000. We’re trying to keep costs down, but the fact is that 98% of our guests will be flying in from out of town, and although they’re really coming for us, I think they deserve more than a backyard bbq and plastic flatware for the trip. Some of our cost-savings have been to hold the wedding and reception at a beautiful restaurant that doesn’t charge site-fees, try to buy used when we can (dresses, etc), use a photography student who is just starting their business, and my best secret has been telling vendors up front what the budget is, and asking what they can do to meet it (before I did that, they were quoting me 2x what I wanted to spend). Unfortunately, even when trying to keep costs down, it is not cheap, no matter how you do it, to feed and entertain 100 people.
Even though it’s a ton of money, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to share a beautiful few days with everyone you love. These chances don’t come around that often, and they’re worth the price. My feeling is that as long as we’re still meeting our savings goals, and not financing the wedding (rather, paying in hard-saved cash), it’s fine to spend on this sort of occasion.
Judging women based on how much they spend on their wedding dress is really offensive. For one, you’re a man, so it’s impossible for you to ever fully understand the appeal of a beautiful wedding dress to a woman. My dress retails for $11,500 and I feel no shame in spending that because I have been fascinated by fashion history since I was a pre-teen and always dreamed of wearing a museum quality piece. A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event, likely the biggest and most emotionally significant party ever thrown in your honor. Why would you not want to feel beautiful and special? If one can afford a $12k dress and it makes them extremely happy, then they are entitled to that dress. It may only be worn for eight hours total, but it will be immortalized in wedding photos and the bride’s memory and, if valuable and beautiful enough, may become a family heirloom.
Tell me you’ve never made an extravagant purchase purchase? If so, I have nothing but pity for you. We’re only on this earth for so long, why not put our five senses to good use.
One of my friends spent $35 on her wedding, including:
- subway cost to the courthouse
- $15 fee for the license
- taxi, so she could get to work after the wedding
She says she only knows one person with a cheaper wedding. That person spent $30, but it was 30 years before her, so she figures she wins after inflation.
(her boss didn’t believe she was really getting married, so he didn’t give her the day off…he still doesn’t believe she’s married, about 20 years later)
Yes, I am a woman, and yes, I do believe that $11,500 is an offensive amount for a dress that I will only be wearing for 5 hours of my life. I am ordering my wedding gown online for $200. As for feeling beautiful and special—I don’t need an expensive dress to feel this way. I already do.
I am getting married this June, and I was hoping to keep the cost to around $3,000, but it is closer to $4,000 after everything has been tallied up. The biggest expense, (not included in this 4K budget) is my engagement ring, which is 5K. My guest list is frozen at 30 people. Only immediate family is invited, plus one best man and one bridesmaid. I chose a Sunday, in the evening, for both my ceremony and the reception, saving thousands. Because I do not want to stint on good food and good wine for my family, the venue is a beautiful historic mansion overlooking the Pacific Ocean and Santa Cruz, with in-house chef and restaurant. I also wanted a good photographer, since photos and videos will be the only things left of the wedding long after the flowers have wilted and the cake has been eaten. I will be ordering fresh flowers and making the table arrangements and bouquets myself, and I will be making my own invitations. The money I saved by being frugal will go towards the down-payment for a house in the Santa Cruz area. I think THAT is something worth splurging money on.
Spending over $35K on a “Special,” Day, can’t really add up to a special lifetime with that person. Remember the song, “Can’t Buy Me Love,” Well, spending $35K and over on a wedding is most certainly that. I am a woman. I love beautiful, frilly things, but I also love the idea of a honeymoon in Europe, a down payment on a home and maybe keeping my savings account intact for retirement and college funds, rather than blowing 30 Grand on one day.
I think ALL women are entitled to a beautiful day, but I think what makes a wedding most special is the look in your husbands eyes as you exchange vows, the smiles on your loved ones faces, the beauty around you that is simple and understated.
Not all of us can be princesses that live in castles, but we can be imaginative and not have to out do every other princess out there that wants to have the bigger and better wedding.
How about donating your time to a charity on this day? Remember, weddings can’t always be about you as a couple. It’s about emitting the love you share as a couple to those around you.
So here’s how a wedding works.
It takes months of stress for everyone involved to plan a one-day party. Limited return on investment?
It costs about a year’ salary, but you quite possibly can’t afford a home and wouldn’t think about paying for a private school for your kids’ better education.
Your marriage probably won’t last.
Everyone thinks their wedding is gonna be unique, but they’re almost all pretty much the same.
There’s not an ounce of similarity in a wedding to your everyday life.
Lots of people get inconvenienced at great cost to attend, some flying in from thousands of miles away.
Most of these people you hardly know, if at all.
Few people actually have a fabulous time, though many pretend they do.
The food isn’t so memorable. I could have my favorite dinner for under 15 bucks, but I’ll bet most weddings budget more than that.
The couple probably won’t be all that happy with their pictures, and even if they are, how often are they gonna look at them?
There’s always a few dicks at the reception.
You have to dress up uncomfortably and smell good and be on time.
You have to try to figure out a way to get out early when you’re tired of being there, but you don’t want to look like a jerk.
You have to have a permanent smile all day long when you’re the “happy couple”. Not easy to do.
You could get hundreds of pretty flowers at Trader Joe’s that people can take home for a fraction of the price of the overly pretentious bouquets they put on the table that get thrown away, just so the planners and florists can rape you (financially).
Vegetarians are never super happy with teir food selection.
A lot of people who feel awkward around certain other friends and family are pretty much forced to be there, pretending.
People get all formal and stuff, where they’re never like that in their daily lives.
People get drunk, and that’s never good.
People have to pretend they’re a lot more religious and optimistic about marriage than they really are.
The bands usually aren’t anything to write home about. DJ’s are better, but we’ve all heard this stuff before.
The VIPs sit at the table up front and make silly speeches and look like “The Last Supper”.
You’ll complain later about the things that didn’t go right.
Stress, stress, stress. Money, money, money. Pretentiousness, pretentiousness, pretentiousness.
What a pain in the ass. I’d rather go to Marine World.